Chicken Pot Pie

Me, looking at the timer on the oven: An hour?!? Cook fast, I’m dying!
Mr. Smartypants Ed: Do you think you’ll be dead before it’s done?
Me: Yes, I’m dying!
Mr. SoNotGettingAnyTonight: Oh, good. More for me!

*beat*

Mr. OhShitIFuckedUp: I’m a horrible boyfriend.
Me: Yes, yes you are.