Me, looking at the timer on the oven: An hour?!? Cook fast, I'm dying! Mr. Smartypants Ed: Do you think you'll be dead before it's done? Me: Yes, I'm dying! Mr. SoNotGettingAnyTonight: Oh, good. … [Read more...]
Princess
Ed, whilst complaining that the grill charred his chicken: I'm thinking of switching to charcoal. Me, the MOTHERF'ING PRINCESS who doesn't like to mess with charcoal: You shut your mouth! He … [Read more...]
Hydrating
Whilst I was working out... Crickett: Want me to work out with you? Me: *stepping off treadmill* Sure! Crickett: *getting on treadmill* Oh nice hydrating liquid, Mom! Me: *staring at a bottle … [Read more...]
Creation Story
So, you know how everyone is all, "Well, but what caused the big bang? Huh? Can't explain that can you?" My personal belief is that the big bang was caused by a multidimensional large dog farting. … [Read more...]
Usual Suspects Halloween 2010
Once upon a time there was a group of people who were incredible. We've sort of wandered off from each other these days, life happens I suppose. We still see each other when we can, but it's not like … [Read more...]
Brutal Killer
Stinkbug: Good morning, madam! Lovely home you have here! Me: Eeeeeewwww *twitch* Stinkbug: I say, if you attempt to squish me, I shall lift my bum and spray you. Me: Are you threatening me? … [Read more...]
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